Tips for a single dad raising a daughter

Raising a daughter as a single dad can be more than challenging. Where you have lost your wife to an unforeseen accident, death, or divorce, the events are equally traumatic for boys as for girls. You will first of all have a daughter who is grieving for her mother, and depending on how you handle her and how old she is, you might have a rebellious daughter on your hands. With a mother in the home, many of your daughter’s emotional issues would have been talked about or resolved, and you had little to worry about. Being a single parent with a daughter, you will have to exercise extra care and be patient and be willing to listen. She will be sensitive and will need to be treated a whole different way. Remember, as the father, you will have to set a good example. Women tend to marry men like their fathers, so consider that too. There have been many great father and daughter relationships, like John and Angelica Houston.

Tip #1
Dads are the protectors of their families and see themselves as the rescuers when there’s a problem. They’re good at physical solutions, like getting the car, calling the ambulance, fixing a tire, but can be stumped by an emotional crisis. Separations and divorce are traumatic for the adults as well as the children. Do not be afraid to show that you are human and that you are all trying to make sense of what has happened, and move on.

Tip #2
Be cognizant of the fact that your daughter is a young girl who has just reached puberty and might well be struggling with hormonal changes. If the divorce has resulted in her coming to live with you, she is in a new area where she has to attend a new school and make new friends. Be understanding. Don’t expect her to snap out of it. She needs time. If her mother was her confidante and she is no longer on the scene, she will have to find a new friend or a female role model like an aunt or a grandmother she can confide in. Men tend to listen just long enough to find out the problem and then the tendency to solve it themselves take over and they stop listening. Women, especially young girls, love all the frills and thrills of sharing their problems, and love girlie conversation. They want to feel that you understand them.

Tip #3
You’re not going to get away from the fact that fathers find it easier to bond with their sons as they can share many physical activities together. Your daughter might be on the soccer team at school, or even play basketball. Get involved with her activities. Watch sports together and have something to talk about. The great Rafael Nadal, the tennis player, has Uncle Tony as his coach. We all need a mentor. Become your daughter’s coach. Go to her games. Watch football together on Monday nights. Go together to the shop to buy groceries for the house. Find opportunities to be with her to strengthen the bond you have.

Looking for single parent support and help? Learn about grants for single parents, financial assistance, daycare support and get tips and advice to help you face the tough task of being a single parent at singleparentcenter.net