Does a father have to work harder for the affection of a child?

Unfortunately, it seems to be so. A young child apparently will say to the father, I want mummy, or only mummy can fix this, and is more likely to share her problems with her mother than her father. Mothers are natural nurturers. It is the same in the animal kingdom. When you look at the animal world, the lioness is the one the cubs stay with. In a new dog litter, it is the mother the pups surround. The mother is the source of food and love. The mother has also carried the baby for nine months under her heart. She has an innate and natural instinct to protect. Surely, this puts the mother high on the list.

However, dads are nurturers too; some of them just don’t show it. Dads consider themselves the breadwinners; they can’t be seen to be weak. Also, if a child reminds a dad of the mother, who has been his mortal enemy for years, he might subconsciously take it out on the child. A child can sense resentment and also instinctively knows that his mother is the one who will understand him. It is not that fathers don’t understand; they might not give the same gravity to a child’s emotional wellbeing. But the dad is still a good father. And some dads are so expressive and child-like in their interaction with their kids, they are better at having fun with kids than their mums.

Tips for a single father

1. Tell your kids you love them. Be physical in your affections and pick them up and hold them.


2. Be sensitive to the needs and feelings of your child. A child who has lost a mother to addiction, needs particular care, such as love and counseling.


3. Don’t say bad things about their mother when they are with you for the weekend. You can be sure that she will hear of it somehow. Children will squeal on their fathers when they get ticked off with him.


4. If you are living in another state, keep in constant touch with your kids by sending letters, photographs and little gifts. Also keep in touch on the telephone. Call your child for no reason at all except to say that you love him.


5. Don’t forget your child’s birthday. Send a card and also call. Send a birthday gift. As a single parent, don’t disappoint.


6. Follow through on your promises. If you have promised your child that you will attend the school play or baseball practice, make every effort to do so and don’t disappoint your child. Children have long memories, and some kids can bear a grudge.


7. Arrange with your ex that you spend one or two early evenings with the kids to help them with homework. You want to present as normal a household as you can.


8. Have one-on-one bonding moments with your kids. Give each one of them equal time. If possible, be there at bedtime on one of your visits, and read a story to the kids. Children love being read to.

Looking for Single Parent Families support and help? Learn about single parent grants, financial assistance, daycare support and get tips and advice to help you face the tough task of being a single parent at www.singleparentcenter.net